I must be missing the mom gene. I don’t have mom jeans either, so maybe that factors in or something. The beautiful, viral “Slow Down” video about how quickly children grow up and how bittersweet that phenomenon is didn’t make me cry. It didn’t make me want to cry.
I am the mother to an 19-month old son. A super extra adorable 19-mo old son, I might add. It’s been wonderful, it’s been sh*tty, it’s been crazy, it’s been exhausting, it’s been fun.
The challenges of motherhood I’ve faced physically and mentally in the past year and a half have drained me in every way possible. If you’re a mom, you know what I mean. Like, literally, because I breast fed and pumped, and figuratively because most of the time it’s like the life has been sucked out of me.
I look back at my One Line A Day book where I’ve logged a quick note of each day’s events since birth (okay, maybe not each day but I’m doing my best as I attempt to keep a house, feed my family, work my business, and keep my kid alive) and a lot of the entries make me cringe – the nursing nightmares, the changing table mishaps, the sleepless nights, the tearful days. I should prescribe reading it as a method of birth control (my blog would probably accomplish that, too). Of course there are your typical milestone notes and some cutesy stuff, too. But even those things bring back memories…like, did you know diarrhea, fever, and [more] night-waking accompany the arrival of those adorable pearly whites? Or that celebrating the fact that your kid only got up twice in the middle of the night means that he usually gets up 4-5x?
I’m beyond thankful for how far we’ve come since my son was itty bitty, but it’s by no means a piece of cake now and I know it never will be. Each stage of my son’s life comes with challenges, concern, and worry. Yay, parenthood! Yeah my son is cute and all – probably the cutest kid in existence, really – but I have no desire for things to stay where they are.
Maybe I’m a heartless b*tch. Maybe I’ll be singing a totally different tune a year or 10 from now. Only time will tell.
I know from experience that joy and excitement come along with each stage, as well – “mama” is a title I cherish, and I’m actually looking forward to all the things the Slow Down video touched on, and more. It will be so amazing to see my son climb and swim, use the big-kid swing, play sports, go to his first dance, get married… I’m not saying I want his life to unfold any quicker than the clock ticks, but I’m not interested in time standing still or slowing down either. To watch him live and grow is a privilege denied so many.
Actually, scratch that – if time stands still my under eye bags won’t get any worse. In fact, let’s turn the clocks back about 5 years. 😉